Savory, Brett Alexander

The Distance Travelled (2006)


Why have certain denizens of Hell taken to throwing farm animals through innocent folks’ kitchen windows? How long does it take a dead, desiccated gas attendant to walk out to his pumps? What sort of relationship do the Lord of the Underworld and Hell’s Head Torturer have besides the obvious professional one? What kind of air conditioning units do they use down there? Do they listen to Cyndi Lauper? What is Hell’s official currency, and by what criteria did The Big Red Fella choose it? Can pigs eat cereal with a spoon? What nameless beast dwells in the flame pit near the hole to Upside? What is Upside, for that matter, and why should you care anyway?

Within the pages of this book, you will find the answers to these pressing questions, as well as answers to other, significantly less pressing, questions...

Welcome to Hell! Where your torture sessions are scheduled... And pigs fall from the sky... And a little girl from the Upside is missing... And it's up to one of Hell's least likely denizens to find her... Along with the girl's brother, a walking skeleton of a man who may just be older than time, a giant Hell rat and a gorgeous woman with too many secrets, he ventures into the heart of Hell to find some answers... And maybe miss a torture session or two.


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